are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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