im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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