She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
