That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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