brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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