Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Randomize
