I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You don't make any sense
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