Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize