I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
