So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
