Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
