I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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