around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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