If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
