Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
