this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
