I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
