Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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