am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
