sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
