I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize