We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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