My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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