i barfeds in our rink
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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