I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
