I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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