he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
