I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
