I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
