where am i from again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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