I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
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Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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