Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
