Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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