In the future we'll all be gay
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
