i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
