i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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