Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This toilet bowl is my home.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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