i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
