Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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