Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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