woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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