I murdered the dance floor call the cops
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
