There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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