you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
