So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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