1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
