I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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