Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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