why do cheetos always look like penises
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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