end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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