Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
