what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
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If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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