They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
