i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
