Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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