I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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