if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
